May 2018 !!!

Guess what peeps!!! Its MAY! Wow I am super excited. Hahahah huuyeah! Woo hang on I'm happy not because it is #GE14. But I'm going to be officially 21 on 7th! Wahh so old already? Yeah what to do? Hidup mesti diteruskan gitu ahahah.

However, this writing is not to talk about my wishes and hopes and achievement or whatever I had because I'm going to write those things on 7th May! So, stay tuned for more update hihi.

This post is just about what I am currently feel right now, or what I'm currently dream of, daydream to be specific. Why daydream? Because it is sounds impossible to achieve but, also, possible if I try.

Sigh.

I cannot lie to myself anymore. I fell in love with somebody. Somebody I never expect to know. Somebody who at first I only admiring his leadership and confident. Somebody who being amazed by everyone because of his responsibility. I can't deny my feeling anymore. Every time I saw him, I can't take my eyes out of him. I want to look at him. Observe his movement. Enjoy his smile. Listen to his laugh and of course, to feel his existence. And of course with a little hope that he will notice me too. And that's why I said it is a daydream. Luckily, my feeling for him is still under control. I would not go overboard to confess or to be obvious about my feeling, because I don't want to get hurt again. 

So, what I'm doing right now to make sure I'm not going to do something insane is, keep myself aware that love is not about having him because you are lonely. Love is a feeling that should be appreciated to the fullest and in order to make sure that the love are appreciated, it must be given to the right person. A person who knows how to appreciate love the way it deserve. Love is a pure feeling. Where every single thing related to it are done with sincerity and never even once, you ask for a return because you are happy giving all the love and affection as long as the bonding between you and him are strong and last longer.

And to give him all that, I have a doubt. I don't know him really well. The level of how much I know him could be describe through this famous quote. "You know my name, but not my story." Yes because I never talk to him. Never know him personally. Never have a chance to talk too. And never had a chance to even say Hi. Well, maybe I do have the chance but, I'm not brave enough to even say that simple words. 

So, what I choose to do now where I believe would be the best way is, to keep this feeling silently and see whether it work or not. I'm not gonna confess it because I done this once and the end result was disappointing. And to hurt again are not in my list. Never. If it meant to be, it will be. If not, I will not regret my choice because whatever He plan are always the best.